In four day's time, Komachi turns 16
by justgivingmytwoshekel'sworth
Summary: Tis the season for hot Oregairu incest.
1. Countdown

In four days time, komachi turns 16.

Four days from now, I will be seeing her for the first time in four months.

I still vividly remember our last encounter— Komachi sending me off at the train station with tears in her eyes, and a deep fissure in my heart as I bid farewell to my beloved sister— before I depart for matriculation abroad. As the days to our eventual reunion gradually approach, I tire myself with growing anticipation.

What am I going to say to her?

What will she say to me?

Has she grown cuter?

A myriad of thoughts bombarded my mind, rendering me restless in bed at night. Alas, it is merely four days before her birthday, and I am already this excited. It appears that sleeplessness is here to stay for the next few days at least.

In three days time, Komachi turns 16.

My anticipation is slowing devouring me inside. But no time getting killed by it. I have almost forgotten something of paramount importance (something that a cool, rational person like me will not forget under normal circumstances, but my love for Komachi supersedes reason) — a birthday present for Komachi.

So I went to the mall, a rather shabby and pathetic establishment compared with what we had back home. I was too used to the conglomeration of malls in modern, metropolitan Japan, whose size and variety amount to epic proportions. Nevertheless, this sad excuse of a mall was the only one of its kind within my immediate vicinity.

This period of absense has solidified my platonic feelings for my one and only beloved sister. And Komachi has likewise reciprocated with equal degree of affection. It is evident from the conversations we had through the phone that she is equally excited to see me as I am to see her.

But who could blame her? We have never been away from each other for so long before in our lives. (Except for the period between our births, but I shall not delve into that— the period without Komachi in my life is a memory not worth reminiscing over)

In two days time, Komachi turns 16.

I spent the whole day shopping for her birthday present yesterday. Initially, it was supposed to be only a two-hour affair. There were simply no presents that could aptly evoke the degree of my brotherly love for her. For all that she has done for me, Komachi deserves something much more than a mere material object for a gift, as far as my opinion is concerned. Notwithstanding the differences in opinion, I might just punch whoever that agrees to disagree with me on this point. Call me a despot, but to me, it takes a literal monster to make such an outrageous statement. To that end, I will treat the subject as such.

But I digress. Anyways, I eventually settled for a friendship bracelet. Now, why a friendship bracelet, you may ask. There must be thousands of more sensible choices out there for a birthday present.

And I shall digress again. Let me tell you a story, a story that to this day still brings a tear to my eyes…

Let's rewind the clock back several years. Imagine your dead-fish eyed protagonist, except he was 11 year old, and not yet a dead-fish eyed protagonist.

Boy was I edgy back then. If you think I am edgy now, be prepared for a rude awakening as we take a trip down memory lane. I was the eternal loner, always by myself, always keeping to myself, and never giving a fuck about either. To say that I had friends back then would be akin to saying Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself.

I was not at all bothered about my lack of friends. As a matter of fact, the very concept of friendship itself eluded my juvenile mind. To me, friendship was more of a luxury than a necessity.

On a particular bad day— which happened to be my birthday— I trudged home with a more depressing outlook on life than ever before.

Our classroom has this calendar scribbled with the birthdays of the entire class. It served the purpose of remind us about each other's birthday, so that we could host an informal party to celebrate the birthday. By a sheer chance of fate, I shared the same birthdays with another guy. Guess whose birthday they celebrated? Definitely not Hikigay's. To add insult to injury, everyone knew about my birthday— they simply chose to ignore it.

My horrific experience completely obliterated what remained of my faith in friendship and camaraderie. By the time I reached home, I vowed to shun any social interactions from there on out, and stay forever alone for the rest of my life.

"Happy Birthday! Onii-chan!"

When I arrived at my doorstep, what greeted me was the total opposite of what I went through in the day. 9 year old Komachi greeted me with the greatest enthusiasm the moment I stepped into the house. A myriad of decorations and party poppers filled the entire living room. On the table lays a tremendous chocolate cake, no doubt coming from Komachi's paltry pocket money.

I could feel my stoic facade beginning to soften. It was the first time someone besides my parents had put in so much effort and sacrifice into my birthday.

"Onii-chan, here's your birthday present!"

"What is this, Komachi?"

"It's a friendship bracelet I made myself! Look, I even got a matching pair!"

"But why? Not that I don't like it, but why would you give me a friendship bracelet?"

"Because friends are the most important people in my life. And that would be you, Onii-chan."

"I wish this bracelet can let us stay best friends forever, Onii-chan."

"Because I love you."

For the first time in my life, my stoic front crumbled completely into rubble. I pulled Komachi towards me and gave her my first hug ever. I secretly vowed to love and treasure my sister for the rest of my life.

To say that this event had shaped me into a better person would be an outright lie in itself. I was still the socially awkward loner whose socially awkward traits are seemingly borne inherent in me.

But there is one thing for sure: even in the greatest of adversities and darkest of nights, there will be somebody whom I can rely on; somebody whom I can solely live for; somebody whom I will not hesitate one bit to give my life for.


	2. Finale

Tonight is the night of nights.

Right now I am at the airport, checking in for my flight. Words cannot measure the excitement within me. All these days of build up is about to culminate into one grand finale.

In less than 12 hours, the great moment is finally to come.

Even though it's the sensible thing to do, I could barely force myself to sleep. There were way too many thoughts bombarding my mind to keep me awake. But then again, I was not the least bit tired.

I was thinking about Komachi the whole time. And how she'll meet me at the arrival gate, how excited she'll be to see me again. I knew that no matter how long the journey, Komachi would eventually greet me on the other side with the heartiest welcome a brother ever deserves.

But Komachi never did come.

What ensued was a flurry of events that have slowly been blurred from my memory. The significant details were lost with the tide of time, and all that I could recall was nowhere near enough to piece together a clear and complete narrative.

All I could remember was that it resembled nothing I had ever anticipated nor desired. It resembled nothing that paralleled with my mood of optimism, hope and joy that lingered in me up till that point. All I could remember was it involved 8 shots of vodka, a reckless bulldozer behind the wheel, and the one person whom I held so dear in my heart, whom I swore with my life to protect, but broke the promise in the end.

It was the turning point of my life. From that moment onwards, I became an absolute train-wreck, plummeting down the slippery slope of depression at a thousand miles per second.

But then depression soon gave way to a renewed sense of hope and optimism. Who is to say that I am to never see Komachi ever again? No! If I were to repeat the exact same process again, counting down fours day from her birthday, making all the painstaking preparations while eating myself inside with anticipation, and finally touching down on that same runway, going through the same immigration gate, who is to say that Komachi will not reappear in my life, giving me the warm welcome she owed me for so long?

All of a sudden, nothing in the world matters to me.

It matters not that I dropped out of a prestigious school I spent a greater half of my life grinding for.

It matters not that I got diagnosed with clinical insanity, losing whatever little job prospect I had and thus starting to rely on welfare checks for a living.

It matters not that I started to develop a drinking habit which only got worse with time.

It matters not that I gradually moved on to hard narcotics. First weed, then methamphetamine and eventually heroin.

It matters not that I spent my entire savings to fuel these two monsters of an addiction.

It matters not that years have gone by since my last meaningful interaction with society.

It matters not how my parents would visit me every new year with tears in their eyes, begging me to move on from the "tragedy". And how I would get angry at their preposterous suggestions of Komachi's fate every time, and shut them up.

It matters not that I have been celebrating Komachi's 16th birthday for a good ten years now, and will likely continue till the end of time.

It matters not that my life slowly tears apart in front of my eyes.

No, nothing matters to me anymore.

Except for one thing.

In four days time, komachi turns 16.


End file.
